A Poem About Leaving A Narcissistic/Toxic Relationship
I wrote this poem to reflect the different emotions and inner turmoil that someone maybe experiencing on the verge of leaving a toxic relationship.
There is first the awakening the something needs to change and that usually involves stepping away. An assessment is made over how their life has changed over the months or years and being unable to recognise themself or the environment that they are now in. The choice is made to leave but that choice is enveloped with fear and uncertainty. But, the unkown is a better choice at this point than going back to the darkness that they’ve just walked away from. It ends with them realising, that they did make the right choice and that there was always hope, light and new path waiting for them.
Here is the poem:
Coming Out Of The Darkness
I must dare to step outside of what has become the norm;
It feels like I must do it or die where I stand; I walk alone.
Beyond the doubts in my mind and the pain in my heart,
I believe things will get better if I am bold enough to depart.
How did things get this bad? How did I become so weak?
How could I not see that being with this person was hurting me?
Something evil lurkes whenever they are around. I maybe going crazy;
but that evil overwhelms me and desires to break me.
My legs are shaking, I can hardly speak, stepping out of the darkness
has taken it´s toll on me. Understanding more of where I had been;
The darkness was once my home, my sanctuary, what a scary reality!
Now time to heal and rediscover me once more, I´m on a journery!
I have left behind those who only wanted to destroy me,
They who brought Darkenss to my life can no longer hurt me…
They were monsters pretending to be angels of light
but I’ve seen behind the mask and oh what a fright!
Now I have found light, I have found hope, the healing is slow
but at least I´m out of the smoke. The chains have been broken,
I´m no longer in a trance. The spell has been broken. I´m free!
Coming Out of the Darkness has changed my destiny!
We live in a world that is both natural and supernatural. There are things we can see and touch but others we can only sense or feel. The religious or spirtitualists refer to these hidden or unseen forces as spirits, demons, energies, vibes. But, no matter what you call them, they do exist and they roam the earth looking for hosts, for bodies that they can inhabit and influence. Some are positive, some are negative.
My focus will be on the negative spirit of narcissism. Narcissism is rampant in our societies and even though it’s recognised officially as a mental illness, I believe it is so much more than that. Actually, I believe most if not all mental illnesses are actually a sign of demonic possession or oppression.
The spirit of narcissism operates much like any other demonic entity but I will go into detail as to how it operates from inception onward. If you haven’t considered that mental illnesses are more a spiritual phenomenon then you will need an open mind. Let’s get started.
HOW DOES ONE BECOME A HOST FOR THE SPIRIT OF NARCISSIM
People open up themselves to be possessed in many different ways but one thing, spirits like narcissism love, is fear. This is why when someone, more specifically a child is abused, abandoned or neglected that creates fear. Narcissism begins in child hood for many who are classed as having a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. (Learn more about how someone becomes a narcissist by clicking here). The child is broken not just physically and mentally but spiritually. And fear is a strong, powerful emotion that attracts these menacing spirits.
Spirits like narcissism feed off of negative emotions like fear, anger, hatred, envy but also unforgivenss. It thrives in a host who is continually filled with negative emotions and thoughts. Unforgiveness is something I will be touching on separately as it´s very important to know how unforgivenss can hinder someone when it comes to dealing with negative energies and also their healing. Now back to the spirit of narcissism. Of all the negative emotions, fear, is the number one emotion that allows the Spirit of Narcissism to control their host.
HOW THE SPIRIT OF NARCISSISM WORKS
When the spirit first enters it turns off the empathy switch. The host becomes desensitized to other people´s emotions and it´s because the spirit is not empathetic so it´s host cannot be empathetic. The spirit of narcissism will not be able to stake it’s hold and work through an individual if they have empathy. I believe it´s almost inhumane to not be able to have empathy and that´s why I class narcissists as beyond human because even though they have the human form there is more at work within them than what meets the eye.
So, the spirit is within; how does it work? Well, it all happens in the mind. All the thoughts that come to our mind are not our own. Spirits can influence our thoughts from within and without but for the narcissist who has the spirit within it is harder for them to differentiate what thoughts are their own. The spirit of narcissism keeps their host in perpetual fear, convincing them that everyone is against them. This makes the narcissist paranoid but it also makes them more susceptible to operate how the spirit wants them to and as a result, in their minds their actions are always justified. Because when the narcissists thinks everyone is out to get them it keeps them in defense mode. They look to hurt others before others hurt them. They lie, manipulate and gaslight because it´s all about protecting that false self that they believe is under attack.
CAN THE SPIRIT OF NARCISSISM DEPART
Most definately! Any evil entity or negative energy is able to depart from anyone. But, they have to accept that there is something that needs to be removed. This is where narcissists stumble and fall because many don´t think anything is wrong with them. They convince themselves that they are perfect and their is too much pride to accept that they are so badly damaged. Many spiritualists and religions have their ways of ridding people of these entities one thing is certain the host needs to order the entity to depart. Of course, it will not go that easily. It will put up a fight by filling the host´s mind with a lot of negative, depressing or even suicidal thoughts. The spirit of narcissism wants to win and will not surrender a host very easily. The desire for it to be gone needs to strong and the efforts consistent. Also if the host starves it by not waddling in negative thoughts and emotions it will have no choice but to leave. The spirit of narcissism hates honesty, it hates when we forgive, it hates when we admit our wrongs and apologise, it hates everything that is good.
It is a fight and in order to win one needs to fill their home, their mind and life with good people and things. Spirits can cling to inanimate objects as well so if one has anything of the occult in your home it needs to go. Finally, having someone who can keep the narcissist in check is very important. The host will need to be supported to know when they are displaying any narcissistic traits so that they can stop it and choose a better response or action. It needs to be someone they can trust who is willing to support them on this journey of exorcising the spirit of narcissism.
So now you know who or what a narcissist is, your next question maybe: But how do they get this way? How does someone become a narcissist? Well, narcissists are everywhere. They are in the schools, the churches, the work place and every social organisation there is. We also have many people walking around who do not have the Narcissistic Personality Disorder but have narcissistic traits. Narcissism is becoming an everyday thing that many people have to deal with in different areas of their lives.
I believe that there are 3 different ways in which someone can become a narcissist. It’s either the result of child abuse, inherited or learnt. I believe children can be narcissists as well but doctors refuse to diagnose them with NPD until they are young adults which is unfortunate because by then it’s too late to do much with them. The narcissism is no longer a seed but a full grown tree!
Child Abuse Creates Narcissists
Not all children who are abused become narcissists but many do! For those that do, narcissism is something that begins in childhood as a coping mechanism to deal with abuse, neglect or abandonment. The child creates an alter ego that they think is better and separate from who they really are. They tell a lot of lies to push aside the reality of what they are actually going through and cover up the wounded child inside. They don’t just lie to others, they lie to themselves. They try to bury the pain and hurt deep inside. As the child grows these behaviours are perfected and embedded into their personality. Who they really are or were is replaced by this alter ego which has become their mask to the world. Children are very susceptible to spiritual attacks as well and the abuse makes them ten times more susceptible. I believe that’s when an entity would enter and start directing their thoughts and that’s why the pattern for these narcissists are always the same. These entities are from the same demonic source.
Narcissism Can Be Inherited
My second theory is that some people are born narcissists. This is due to the spiritual element of narcissism that I believe in. Narcissism is like a generational curse that can be passed down from one generation to the next. So even if that child had to be put up for adoption to parents who are not narcissists if any of their biological parents were narcissists that child can still end up being a fully blown narcissist.
Generational curses sometimes skip a generation or does not affect every descendent. So if a narcissist has 3 children at least one is guaranteed to be a narcissist. The demonic entities never die and they are always looking for a host and for them it’s easier to stay within a family where they know they have already had success. So, for some people out there I believe they are simply born narcissists.
Narcissism Can Be Learnt
My final theory is that narcissism can be learnt. It’s a learned behaviour for some narcissists. This happens especially with children who have a parent who is a Covert Narcissist. Many of these children did not suffer any physical or verbal abuse but usually that of the insidious nature. Covert Narcissistic mothers tend to teach their children narcissism without even realising and that doesn’t include the simple fact that children look up to their parents, as their first examples as to how they should conduct themselves. So Yes, just like that they pick up their narcissistic behaviours and mannerisms. They learn that outside the home they have to wear a mask. The learn to gas-light, manipulate and lie profusely. They learn to shift blame and never take accountability for when things go wrong. They learn to hold grudges and never forgive. They learn to fake emotions. They become what that narcissistic parent wants them to be. What that child doesn’t know is that they are picking up more than toxic behaviours, they are opening up themselves to a demonic entity who thrives in a narcissistic mind.
Some people are co-dependants meaning they depend heavily on others to validate them. They look to others to decide how they should be as a person. Children who are this way will do whatever is necessary to please that parent; but what if that parent is a narcissist? These types of children are likely to become the golden child who the narcissistic parent dotes about as they are so eager to please them. As a result, the baton of narcissism is usually past to this co-dependent golden child.
This can happen not only to children but a co-dependent adult who is in a relationship with a narcissist. They take on the toxic behaviours of their spouse/partner a lot easier than someone who is not a co-dependent. They can go from just developing a few narcissistic traits to becoming full blown narcissists depending on how long they stay in a relationship with a narcissist. I call these types of narcissists Co-dependent narcissists. They can become narcissists as children or as adults it all comes down to exposure.
For anyone who is new to understanding about narcissism, knowing who or what is a narcissist in the first place is very important. I define a narcissist as someone who has a deluded sense of self-importance and lacks empathy. There are many levels to narcissism that can range from benign to malignant. There are also narcissists who are Overt, meaning they are exhibitionists; they are openly arrogant and boastful. Then there are the Covert Narcissists who are more cunning with their narcissism and use a lot of manipulation, lies and gas-lighting to get their way. Covert Narcissists are hard to pin point as they tend to be well mannered and well presented. Only their partners or close relatives tend to know that they are indeed narcissists and trying to convince someone else that they are, is near impossible.
One thing for sure is that all narcissists have certain qualities or characteristics that define them. The only difference is that the Overt Narcissist is openly toxic to everyone whereas the Covert Narcissists traits are hidden or insidious.
All Narcissists Are:
SELFISH – They put their wants and needs over others. Whenever a narcissist is generous expect that they want something in return.
SELF ABSORBED: They think themselves more special and important than anyone else. They are strangely fascinated with themselves and their capabilities.
DELUSIONAL: The way they view people and life is not in touch with reality. Narcissists see things in black and white, there are no grey areas.
PATHOLOGICAL LIARS: They lie continually to support and maintain their false image and manipulate others.
LACKING IN EMPATHY: They lack emotional intelligence and struggle with inter-personal relationships.
POWER HUNGRY/CONTROL FREAKS: They love to control the people around them as they believe everyone else exists to serve them.
BLAME SHIFTERS: They do not like to take responsibility when things go wrong. The are not willing to take responsibility for their own mistakes.
PARANOID: They think everyone is out to get them or against them in some way. They constantly live in fear of being disrespected or attacked.
ATTENTIONS SEEKERS: They have an excessive need for attention and admiration. These give the narcissist supply and validate their false image.
DEMONICALLY POSSESSED: There is a darker force at work that controls their thoughts and actions.
Narcissists are here to stay by the looks of it, so knowing who they are and what signs to look for is very important. If only it was possible to live separate from these people but it’s not. One things is certain and it is that these people are evil and should not be dismissed as just mentally ill.