Growing up in a narcissistic household with narcissistic parents can be very damaging for the children involved. If both parents are Narcissists then I can only imagine that, that house will be a house of horrors! Narcissists are dangerous to everyone around them and their children are no exception.
Narcissistic Parents usually want to give the illusion that they have a happy and perfect family life. The children learn from a very young age to wear a mask when they are in public and to always pretend that everything is fine, even when it’s not.
If one parent is a Narcissist then things may not be as bad as it could be but then it depends on whether it’s the mom who is a Narcissist or the dad that is a Narcissist.
Male Narcissists are usually emotionally detached from the children and don’t get involved too much with the affairs of raising the children. They just see them as accessories to make them look like a responsible, mature and loving father. But they do not care to do the work necessary to ensure that their children are emotionally stable and well rounded. Although they maybe physically present they are usually detached mentally and emotionally. They will abuse all in their household psychologically but will hand-pick one or two to abuse pyhsically.
Female Narcissists on the other hand seek to turn their households into a Cult and she is the cult leader. Complete control must be hers and everyone must hearken to her bidding. She decides who should relate well with whom and who should be treated as an outcast. She will turn the children against each other and against the other parent. She will show favoritism to one of her children and mold them to be exactly what she thinks they should be. Whatever happens in the home, stays in the home and no one should ever make mommy look bad. She would remind them of the sacrifices she makes to take care of them and that they owe her, their life. She expects to be praised and complimented, If she is unhappy everyone will be unhappy. She rules her house with an iron fist and her children are her subjects and she will use them and abuse them as she sees fit. The thinking of the Female Narcissist is that she brought them into this world and she can take them out if she wants to.
Narcissists are selfish, evil and depraved. Having children does not improve or change their view of life and people. Everyone is a tool, everyone is prey to the Narcissist. Living and growing up with a Narcissist can leave many people damaged and insecure for life. But there are others who get away and flourish into the beautiful human beings they were meant to be. But the important thing is to get away. Escape the madness and the cruelty of the Narcissistic parent otherwise you will never be happy. Breaking free also includes getting rid of those spiritual and emotional ties that we have, so as not to continue this generational curse of toxicity.
The actions and words of a parent live on within their children and unfortunatley when it comes to Narcissistic parents many times they end up raising Narcissistic chilren. Thankfully, some are born immune to the toxicity and rise above it, while others choose to leave the toxic path paved out for them.
I grew up with a Narcissistic dad which wasn’t too bad but I have also seen the destruction the Female Narcissist can cause. I think it has to do with the expectation of the mother, to be the carer and the nurturer. But also, after carrying the child for months inside of her, a strong bond is created which can easily be turned into a Trauma Bond that then needs to be broken.
Ideally Narcissists should not be parents as they clearly are not cut out for it. But all we can do is keep learning how to deal with the cards we’ve been dealt.