For some people moving on from the narcissist has proven to be very difficult. Although they may have taken the necessary steps by going no contact, blocking them on Social Media etc., or even moving cities to avoid the narcissist; the narcissist still haunts them. Despite all their efforts, they find that they still think about the narcissist everyday. Some even desire to make contact or for the narcissist to reach out to them some how.
There is a part of them that hates the narcissist while there is another part that would love to have the narcissist back; or they may just feel stuck, unable to do much with their life and lacking in overall confidence and self-love.
Why The Struggle?
There are a few factors that can leave someone still longing for a narcissist. The first one is that it was an unexpected discard.
The narcissist discarded you and you didn’t see it coming. Although there may have been a few arguements, silent treatments, etc; the break-up was not expected. So, you are still entranced by the narcissist and this sudden harsh treatment has left you in shock even traumatised. And even though you may have put the dots together and realised that this ex-partner was a narcissist you simply can’t let go. You have become anxious, paranoid, angry, bitter, you experience feelings of worthlessness, you may even start suffering from depression. Your confidence and self-esteem has taken a beaten. You are broken.
The next factor comes down to how much was invested into the relationship. The more time, money, emotions and commitments that one has had with the narcissist is the second thing that can make it difficult to move on.
In this case you may have even discarded them but you are now obsessed with the narcissist. You replay past events in your mind over and over again. Maybe even wishing to have done certain things differently. You are angry and bitter all the time, even obsessing on how to get back at the narcissist and hurt them as much as they’ve hurt you. Getting your life back on track is more difficult than you anticipated because you are obsessed with the past, you are obsessed with the narcissist.
Some even begin stalking the narcissist on Social Media to see who they are dating, or what they are up to. What people in this situation need to realise is that even though they are not with the narcissist physically, the narcissist is still there!
Being in an intimate relationship with someone is a physical, mental and spirtitual experience. This is why just removing yourself physically from a narcissist is not enough. You need time to detox you mind and your spirit from the narcissist in order to heal and move on. The narcissist is beyond human. They are the host for a demonic, spiritual entity who got access to your spirit while they were with you. A lot of the negative emotions and thoughts that you experience after leaving the narcissist is a sure sign that the narcissist has infected you and that they’ve left a bit of themselves within you.
These parasitic entities feed off of negativity, so if you can eradicate those negative thoughts and emotions that baby parasite that the narcissist left within you will die and you will no longer long for the narcissist or you will no longer feel the need for revenge; as you will realise that their dysfunctional existance is what will destory them in the end.
A major step to eradicating the narcissist from your life for good is to FORGIVE. Forgive yourself first (because some people do blame themselves for what has transpired with the narcissist) and then forgive the narcissist.
Holding unforgiveness will not help you but will actually hinder your recovery from narcissistic abuse and being able to move on from the narcissist.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean taking back the narcissist or even saying anything to them. It’s about releasing them for the hurt they caused by realising that they are just puppets being controlled by a malevolent force.
If you don’t forgive you remain bitter, angry, anxious and paranoid. You will be stuck in a cycle of highs and lows, your views on life and people will slowly change, hate will grow in your heart and you will slowly become more and more like the monster you once despised.
It’s time to get over the Narcissist! It’s time to stop being obsessed with the Narcissist! It’s time to Heal and fill your life with Love and Light.