So now you know who or what a narcissist is, your next question maybe: But how do they get this way? How does someone become a narcissist? Well, narcissists are everywhere. They are in the schools, the churches, the work place and every social organisation there is. We also have many people walking around who do not have the Narcissistic Personality Disorder but have narcissistic traits. Narcissism is becoming an everyday thing that many people have to deal with in different areas of their lives.
I believe that there are 3 different ways in which someone can become a narcissist. It’s either the result of child abuse, inherited or learnt. I believe children can be narcissists as well but doctors refuse to diagnose them with NPD until they are young adults which is unfortunate because by then it’s too late to do much with them. The narcissism is no longer a seed but a full grown tree!
Child Abuse Creates Narcissists
Not all children who are abused become narcissists but many do! For those that do, narcissism is something that begins in childhood as a coping mechanism to deal with abuse, neglect or abandonment. The child creates an alter ego that they think is better and separate from who they really are. They tell a lot of lies to push aside the reality of what they are actually going through and cover up the wounded child inside. They don’t just lie to others, they lie to themselves. They try to bury the pain and hurt deep inside. As the child grows these behaviours are perfected and embedded into their personality. Who they really are or were is replaced by this alter ego which has become their mask to the world. Children are very susceptible to spiritual attacks as well and the abuse makes them ten times more susceptible. I believe that’s when an entity would enter and start directing their thoughts and that’s why the pattern for these narcissists are always the same. These entities are from the same demonic source.
Narcissism Can Be Inherited
My second theory is that some people are born narcissists. This is due to the spiritual element of narcissism that I believe in. Narcissism is like a generational curse that can be passed down from one generation to the next. So even if that child had to be put up for adoption to parents who are not narcissists if any of their biological parents were narcissists that child can still end up being a fully blown narcissist.
Generational curses sometimes skip a generation or does not affect every descendent. So if a narcissist has 3 children at least one is guaranteed to be a narcissist. The demonic entities never die and they are always looking for a host and for them it’s easier to stay within a family where they know they have already had success. So, for some people out there I believe they are simply born narcissists.
Narcissism Can Be Learnt
My final theory is that narcissism can be learnt. It’s a learned behaviour for some narcissists. This happens especially with children who have a parent who is a Covert Narcissist. Many of these children did not suffer any physical or verbal abuse but usually that of the insidious nature. Covert Narcissistic mothers tend to teach their children narcissism without even realising and that doesn’t include the simple fact that children look up to their parents, as their first examples as to how they should conduct themselves. So Yes, just like that they pick up their narcissistic behaviours and mannerisms. They learn that outside the home they have to wear a mask. The learn to gas-light, manipulate and lie profusely. They learn to shift blame and never take accountability for when things go wrong. They learn to hold grudges and never forgive. They learn to fake emotions. They become what that narcissistic parent wants them to be. What that child doesn’t know is that they are picking up more than toxic behaviours, they are opening up themselves to a demonic entity who thrives in a narcissistic mind.
Some people are co-dependants meaning they depend heavily on others to validate them. They look to others to decide how they should be as a person. Children who are this way will do whatever is necessary to please that parent; but what if that parent is a narcissist? These types of children are likely to become the golden child who the narcissistic parent dotes about as they are so eager to please them. As a result, the baton of narcissism is usually past to this co-dependent golden child.
This can happen not only to children but a co-dependent adult who is in a relationship with a narcissist. They take on the toxic behaviours of their spouse/partner a lot easier than someone who is not a co-dependent. They can go from just developing a few narcissistic traits to becoming full blown narcissists depending on how long they stay in a relationship with a narcissist. I call these types of narcissists Co-dependent narcissists. They can become narcissists as children or as adults it all comes down to exposure.